Signor Benedick's Spooky Reader's Theatre

by Signor Benedick the Moor

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released October 23, 2014

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Signor Benedick the Moor California

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Track Name: Halloween Song
welcome to the benedick spooky hour readers theatre
we’ve got an especially chilling tale for you tonight
involving a young boy by the name of Roger who, in an attempt to forget
roger left his room in search of his brother dan
despite all rogers protests he had gotten into the mans van
now roger felt vaguely responsibly after reflection
so he donned his ninja costume ninja sword in each hand and

a block away in the bushes he noticed his first clue
a trail seemed to be present consisting of blood and a purse too
he couldn’t piece it together
no matter how he racked his brain
when down the lane he saw Jane dance in the rain next to the cursed zoo
her frail frame was shaking probably the cold
he started going towards her she was only 7 years old
to Roger’s 9 she was practically a baby
besides she could know something maybe
when all of a sudden this crazy lady with

rabies came at im with a fire axe
he barely had time to react
back flip and attack back
slap whack crack
and act like it didn’t phase him when she disintegrated
cus heroes dont cry
even those inundated
with the weight of those that he has to save
he ran up to Jane and told her be brave
she smiled and said “now now you musn’t misbehave”
pulled out a shotgun and shot one
then shot two
then ran off at an angle too obtuse to follow
Roger tried to swallow

caught his breath
he could feel the sweat
but it wasn’t over yet
level two was discomfortingly out of his depth
but it was here he would find Dan
and the man that took him away today in his creepy van

roger passed through a gate darker than coal
and colder than dark nights in antarctica on patrol
he was swole off of the battle and thus gained extra experience
feeling himself gain a new higher level of control
but still he wasn’t safe
the animals were awake
and seemed to be warning him with every step that he would take
any and every mistake could end up bein his death
and he couldn’t die not tonight with so much to do left
he passed by the chimps eyes dark with a glint
from the moon light gave a hint
the whole picture was something like out of a klimpt
strangely alluring though dark underneath the shine
roger checked the time
midnight still not a single sign
of his brother or the man or the creepy van
roger didn’t understand
nothing was going according to plan
when suddenly he noticed something in the distance
some kind of shadow free of it’s body
with no physical coexistence
it swarmed toward the boy
he cried out with a yell
and saw from the ground the creepy man emerge just as he fell
he had eight arms and twenty eyes and a freakishly foul smell
he pulled the boy by his ankles
and said allswell that ends well
Track Name: A2onality *Plus*
outside in the wind theres something hiding in the cornfield
and unluckliy for the farmer its far worse than what a storm yield
he wakes in the morning to find a curious pattern
of stalks flattened and the rings remind his children of saturn *kids playing*
*cop car*
its just a prank is what he tells them and he believes it himself
but whoevers been doing its expertly employed stealth
this couldnt have been the first
the farmer doubts it’ll be the last
and if he catch his ass
the culprit’ll be flattened himself
that night the farmers wife tucks in the children
the smallest one was building something he saw next to their building
he tells her he saw it earlier hovering outside the window
she comments on his new friend
the boy says “it’s not a friend though”
the oldest daughter can’t keep still
“what is it whats wrong jill?”
she gets out of the bed and says she dont wanna be killed
the mother is shocked and blames it on the oldest
watching the shows shes banned
how many times has she told him
she scolds him






that’s when the light came down from the heavens
but Julie wasn’t religious she only worshipped those sevens
it blinded her for a moment and filled her mind up with white noise
one word was repeated

the light was gone and she gave a sigh of relief
though something inside her soul still felt something like grief
something that didn’t register under even subconscious
oh well
she went down to the kitchen for something to eat
her husband was in a huff
saying something about lights in the sky
he’d die
before those pranksters struck again and that wasn’t a lie
you saw it right? he was now referring to the light
she says “you’re being ridiculous”
he says “it was quite a sight”
but somethings not right
julie looks at the light
on the stove in the kitchen
and gasps with a fright
while her husbands upstairs
checking up on the kids?

wait they don’t have any kids…

15 miles to the west and at best about 10 days later
the mayor of emmetville calls an associate and asks for a favor
his teeth stained from the tabacca half an inch from the reciever
calls in his assistant and sweats a bit untill he sees her

meanwhile a man rides his horse into town
its been ten days since anyone under ten has been found six days since he’s the heard the sick sound of his wifes silence as she drowned
walked right into the lake in her evening gown luckily he’d hidden the shotgun
the man frowned




what he saw wasn’t the village that he remembered
cars had been ripped apart an unidentifiable animal had been dismembered
and shop fronts mercilessly pillaged
this was no longer a home more like a war zone the man could smell december
around the corner something stirred
off flew a bird then ten more
something freaky was going on
but who could they send for
cars were useless, electricity wouldn’t run
whoever we were against it seemed they won

in front of the mayors office door
lay the charred remains of jennifer in a heap on the floor
and though no one ever bothered to stop and ask anymore
the frame was more than willing to explain the figure from before
it walked through him its grey skin loose on its bones
nearly 48 inches with eyes the size of stones
he pulled out a machine unlike the frame had ever seen
set it down on the table and remained deaf to the screams

the frame watched as the stranger turned on the strange device
that resembled something like a cross between a television and a vice
and despite all the mayors protests and pleas for discourse
it appeared that the stranger cared not one bit
he took the apparatus
hooked it to the mayor
flipped another switch
and watched as the mans body was turned to dust, until it seemed nothing was left
then he took the device and left
the room of all life bereft

the frame stayed where it was, unable to move as always
just watching
he had quite liked jennifer, even if she did do naughty things with the mayor on the other side of the door
even if everyone else called her a whore
she was the only one who noticed him

jeremy hadn’t slept since he saw his mother, days ago, months ago? under familiar covers
his sister blubbers over in the corner…
“corn…the cirlces in the corn field”
jeremy loved the latter hated the former
where had they been taken?
why had they been forsaken?
there were hundreds here, and they were all shaken
where was his father
why hadn’t his brother woken up, why bother to keep going with his family broken up

DAD

back inside the capital are four men
two are holding their guns
two attempt to defend
one insists the other is only here as a friend
and two believe that he’s crazy and for them this could be the end

watch 8:32 pm
the farmer creeps to the left
the deputy takes a deep breath
the third man starts a new step
the stranger attempts to bend

the stranger to hades the farmer has sent

the third man wears chucks and sport coat
his glasses flimsy lenses of red and blue cellophane
he’s pissed
he hoped that the farmer would miss
he stands above the stranger, tall and thin, skin of a greenish hue blood of blue spilling on the floor
with his last breath he hands the man a device
the man in glasses explains that this device was going to get the kidnapped people back, that they hand’t been killed, and the dying being before them was the one responsible
Track Name: A3onality
hiding in the darkness was jack harkness
he sparked his last cigarette set for the night
he parked his
chevy cross the street then put up his feet
rummaged through his cooler for lil something to eat
then took a peep at the east side window of Bad manor
while he peeled his bannanar
he made out the silhouette of the banner that probably read
“Happy Birthday Tanner”
shook his head and tightened his grip on his spanner
always be prepared
well that’s what nana told him
but unable to sit still he approached the gate
hoping that fate would be something that tonight he could negate
after all he wasn’t supposed to be alive
he wasn’t supposed to have seen the thing he saw
or to the police have told the lies

how could he have told them about the flash of teeth
and the crimson wreath
and that the body the victims to the earth had bequeathed
were presently underneath
the mansion without disbelief
words were his sword and deception a capable sheath

he’d have to keep his introductions fairly brief
there were no guards or dogs not even a single leaf
which was strange since autumn started a couple weeks ago
but no stranger he supposed than what the fates to him had just bestowed

he approached the door without so much as a plan
spanner in hand
stomach churning legs of spam
but if he could expose this murderous scam
with his own hands
he’d finally feel like the man
and his blog would make prime time
YES

he looked down at how he was dressed
holes in his pants
stains on his vest
it wasn’t his best
but definitely not his worst
and just as the door opened he noticed a terrible thirst

but the thirst was not his


who dis nigga here?
he heard from the doorway
past the door man Jorge
and rugs from norway
sat Bad Tanner
the owner of the mansion and birthday boy
who was not happy someone interrupted his birthday joy
he wore wine red robes silken in nature
and discussed something secret in an ancient nomenclature
passing around some kind of paper
from which was inhaled a strangely pungent metallic smelling red vapor

jack took a second to reflect on his idiocy
realizing this was no safer than rolling around in pigs blood and jumping into the lions cage at the zoo
ACHOO
someone sneezed
jack murmured bless you

Tanner appreciated the manners of the man with the spanner who had stumbled into his birthday party at the manor
though the manner of which was not mentioned by the event planner
Tanner invited him to the table
providing he was able to walk?
yes come have a seat
jack shuffled his feet
he could still feel the thirst even though it was discreet
he looked into his hosts eyes and suddenly wanted to sleep
but sat in the chair adjacent
not falling over was a feat

he realized that though it had the feeling of a feast
there wasn’t a single item of food displayed to eat
hiss horror when he made the connection
drained his complexion
“THEY”RE GONNA EAT ME!”


nah nephew we gon smoke you
Track Name: MOTB (Acoustic DEMO)
idk i don't wanna type this shit its something like i see the mouth of the beast who did you
idk fuck this i dislike typing